Life is like a rollercoaster. you either have severe ups and downs, whereupon you're ecstatically happy or severely depressed, or you just coast through not caring. so which is better, to not let life affect you to it's fullest potential and coast through not experiencing life as its meant to be experienced? or going with the ups and downs and taking the chance of experiencing bone-crushing heartbreak just as much as soul-soaring joy.

Personally, i can't break off from the world enough to just coast through, but there's times that i wish like hell i could. but the numbness you get in that situation is scary. so therefore i'm stuck with going up and down, just like a wild rollercoaster ride. so when i'm up, i'm invincible. and when i'm down i'm so low it looks like i'll never get back up again. maybe that's not a healthy way to live, but it sure beats the hell out of not feeling. its just when you're stuck in a low that you wish you could.

Times like that you have to try your hardest to remember the invincible feeling you have when you're right at the top. And the only way around it is to get off the rollercoaster, but that's not an option as far as i'm concerned. so therefore i'm once again stuck with closing my eyes and waiting for the cart to start its slow climb back to the top of one of those insanely high highs.

I can't wait.